March is coming to an end, and year 4 has been nothing short of exciting, but that’s just me being optimistic. If I were a pessimist, I would describe the year thus far as incredibly challenging with an ever-renewed sense of cluelessness, like a blind man patting the wall for a doorknob.
This is the year where I finally feel more like a real dentist. We delve into dentures, explore endodontics, craft ceramic crowns and cajole crying kids. Every clinic session gives us so much to learn from, and each time there is a patient failure-to-attend (FTA) or when clinic has to be cancelled because our tutors have gotten COVID-19, it puts a halt to our momentum and we lose a whole afternoon of good experience. The closer I get to graduation, the more precious these hours in the operator chair become.
A big part of why I’m really looking forward to the rest of the year is because I do want to be thinking about what I would like to specialise in, if anything even. Initially, I thought I would really enjoy paediatrics, seeing as how I really enjoy playing games and interacting with children, but I’ve come to realise that having them as patients is quite different altogether.
I think in terms of what I hope for in my dental career, I would like to be able to do some teaching in the university as a dental tutor/lecturer. I also hope to be able to have enough time to do things outside of dentistry, such as tennis and music. Perhaps general dentistry practice might be more suited for that. At the same time, I also am keen on Special Needs dentistry, a rather new sector of the industry. Also, I definitely want to be able to use my skillset to help those who cannot afford the exorbitant prices of private sector dentistry. What that looks like in reality, I am unsure of, but that’s the big picture I’m working towards.
Baking a differnce
You are currently reading a blog of THE PRESIDENT OF THE ADELAIDE UNIVERSITY BAKING CLUB 😂😂😂 Yes! My friends and I have started a baking club in school. What started out as a joke over drinks has now come to fruition, and we have carried out our first 2 baking showcases, and have made plans to even do a zoom baking class! Not too sure where else this will lead, but entrusting it to God!
Life goes on
Apart from school, so much has been happening in my life. More and more, I’m realising the difficulty of maintaining friendships around me, and that’s driven me to become slightly more cautious these past few months. As I meet new people and am keen to get to know them well, I feel something holding me back from fully launching myself into new friendships. While I can’t put my finger on it, it sounds along the lines of: “you don’t have the capacity to do this.”
And I wish I did. I wish I were limitless in my time and energy, but by a far cry, I am not. I came across a video that said “realistically, you can only have no more than 7 close friends,” and as I examine my own personal life, I begin to see the pragmatic truth of that statement.
Just been feeling quite overwhelmed by wanting to treasure those people around me and making them feel appreciated, while also wishing that I could just be an island and disappear into the abyss without having to maintain any relationships. On that note, how can I even think about dating if I can’t even hold onto my friends while single?
Beyond that, with loved ones falling really sick and passing on, God’s love has been especially crucial in grounding me through all of this. Who would I be, where would I go, if not for the steadfast love that my heavenly Father places within me each morning?
As I volunteered as a group leader for the Singapore Association’s Hello Adelaide orientation camp, I was reminded of the simplicity of life when I first came over to Australia. I had lots of fun in my first year, and I’m glad I made videos documenting those good memories. It’s bittersweet when I look back. I miss those times, but I also know that I’m better now. When I was year 1, I saw the year 4s and wondered how different I would be when I got there. True enough, so much has changed. I’ve definitely grown in many ways, and in some ways, I haven’t.
I still feel homesick, and I miss my family so much. Sometimes, I think to myself, “Joash, you’re 24 years old. How long do you still want to be a kid for? You have to grow up.” But I don’t think growing means loving people less, or that the ache of missing those we love decreases in size. I think it means communicating that ache to the ones we ache for and not leaving things unsaid. At the same time, we trudge on, because life does not stop for us and is unforgiving that way.
Wrapping this post up on quite a melancholic note, an accurate reflection of how these past few months have been. The glimpses of happiness shared with friends seem to dissipate all too quickly, but I am thankful for them nonetheless. And God, my rock on which I stand upon, may He guard my ever-deceitful heart that tells me I’m alone.
Do you even dentist? 